


Strength in Patience

by AshKnight



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Swan Queen - Freeform, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-16 05:03:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5815279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshKnight/pseuds/AshKnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma Swan is a war veteran who lost a limb in battle and incurred brain damage that affected her memory and makes it difficult for her to speak.  Regina Mills is the nurse who does physical therapy with her at the residential hospital.  Two-shot.  SwanQueen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story with the intention of exploring what it might be like for Emma to be disabled. That being said, I am not, and I could never know what it is really like to have to go through something as horrible as losing a limb or incurring brain damage from battle. I did my best to handle the fictional situation with care and sensitivity. Hopefully, I succeeded at that task. This is just one person's take on what it might be like to be in this position. That being said, I hope it's a good read and that you all enjoy it.

_Disabled._ Emma would spit the word if she could manage it, but it stuck in her throat like hot, gooey tar. Most words tended to now. Everything was hard to say. It all came out in a jumbled stutter. Her mind had trouble piecing together the words before she could push them out. Before the accident, she'd been articulate. Even witty, her friends said. Now, no friends surrounded her or even visited her at the desolate rehabilitation facility for veterans where she currently resided. Not only was she in the prison-like building, away from her old, familiar home, she was now a prisoner of her own decaying mind and broken body.

They told her she would get better. That she shouldn't give up. That she had to keep trying. But Emma didn't buy it. Every day she felt worse, not better. Words slipped from her mind. Fork. Heat. Blanket. Cat. Socks. Phone. It made speech even more difficult then it already was. On top of struggling to make the sounds of the words, she could barely find them in her thoughts to begin with. Even eating was a challenge. She could hardly pour sugar into her tea or hold a mug of hot chocolate without spilling it all over herself. It was pathetic, she thought, but it was her inescapable daily reality.

The government-funded facility was clean, at least. Emma tried to reassure herself that that was something. Lonely and full of grumpy, decrepit old men, but clean. (Then again, who wouldn't be 'grumpy' after having their limbs blown off in a war? Bitter and dejected were better words to describe them.) The place smelled like sweat and too much timeworn aftershave, though, and it made her sick. Not only that, but it made eating even  _more_ difficult. Given her shaking hands, she avoided eating in public in the facility's dining room at all costs, instead preferring a quiet, messy meal in her own room. The worse time of the day, by far, though, was physical therapy.

They forced her to move, to bend what was left of her aching legs, to lift one-pound weights like a small child, and it was beyond humiliating. She was only into her fourteenth session by the time she threw her braces across the room in frustration, collapsing on the floor as they hit a nurse in the legs.

"Emma," the resident nurse – the one who'd just been hit – sighed. "Come on, love. You can't give up now. You're doing so well."

"I hav… haven't… I…"

"You have. You really have. You're making progress. You're talking more. Just don't give up."

But she found out the next day that the forgiving woman had transferred to another facility. A stunningly gorgeous nurse – unfortunately for Emma's level of focus – took her place.

"I'm Regina," the woman told her softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "And hopefully, I'm going to be the one to help you get better."

"I'm… n-never… g-g-going t-to-"

"Oh, of course you will! Not all brain and nervous system damage is permanent, dear, and your doctors believe you will make nearly a full recovery. Of course, you'll need… the prosthetic leg… and possibly the braces… and I understand how horrible that must be for you… but you'll be walking steadily again and speaking better soon."

"Y-You d-don't k-know t-that!" Emma cried, throwing one of her braces to the floor.

The beautiful brunette simply leaned down, picked it up, squeezed the young woman's hand, and secured it back in her grip.

"Come on, Emma. Don't give up. Let's do this together, okay?"

"I'm n-not… n-not y-your… p-pet p-roject," the blonde managed to protest.

"No," Regina flatly agreed. "But you're my patient, and I'm not going to give up on you."

Against her own free will, Emma found herself constantly turning her head to stare at the beautiful nurse, watching her as she smiled brightly with every shaky, pathetic step the blonde took forward. That smile was infectious, but Emma focused almost all of her attention on subduing her own. She refused to be happy about this change in treatment. She refused to be someone's personal project. She almost wanted to give up just to put the young woman off and defeat her overly-cheerful and attitude. Her intense optimism irritated Emma to no end, and part of her – the part that  _wasn't_ nearly drooling from the woman's radiance – wanted to wipe that precious smile right off her face.

When the woman put her hands just under Emma's arms as the blonde began to stumble and looked like she might fall, she shouted, "D-Don't! I… I c-can-"

"Emma, it's okay to need help. Soon, you won't need any. Just let me help you now, okay? Let me-"

"N-No!"

"Alright," the brunette sighed, pushing a frustrated hand through her long locks of hair. "Why don't we call it a day and start again tomorrow?"

As Emma stared at her, she wondered just how soft her hair really was. She could smell the woman's intoxicating shampoo when she stepped closer, and the delicious scent of her perfume on top of that certainly did nothing to help the blonde's focus.

Finally, once she'd remember that the gorgeous nurse had specifically asked her a question, she answered, "F-Fine."

So the nurse helped Emma into her wheelchair and pushed her back to her room, where she positioned her in front of the open window, then asked, "Is this okay?" When her patient nodded, saying nothing, Regina said, "Have a good night, Miss Swan. I'll see you tomorrow."

Emma wanted to turn her head, to see the woman one more time before she left the room – she even tried to – but her head wouldn't turn 'round enough for her to watch her leave. Instead, she shut her eyes to block out the sun – it was far too bright and triumphant, and it's joy mocked her pain – and waited until sleep found her while she sat in her chair.

The next few days were torture. The physical therapy grew more and more intense with every session, and it left Emma in excruciating pain. What was worse, though, was the ache in her gut that she felt every time the woman sweetly said her name.

"You can do it, Emma," Regina would say softly. "I know you can. Don't give up."

Half of her wanted to quit, just to spite her, and the other half wanted to push harder to impress the nurse, to get better just for the sake of proving the woman right. It was a battle she fought every day, but more and more, the side of her that wanted to give up won over, until one day, she finally refused to cooperate.

"Emma," the nurse sighed. "If you refuse treatment, you won't get better, and they won't let you stay here."

"I d-don't c-c-care," the blonde told her defiantly, bright green eyes staring into deep, dark brown.

"I think you do. I think you care a lot. And you know something?"

Emma pressed her lips together, refusing to answer. She wasn't going to cater to this woman's desire to pacify her and fill her with over-sensitive, mushy bullshit.

"I care about you," Regina finally said, giving in to her patient's silence. "I want to see you get better."

"I'm n-not… n-not…"

"You will get better!" the brunette cried, clearly starting to become frustrated with Emma's stubbornness and negativity. "You just have to try!"

"N-No!" Emma shouted, continuing to sit still as she threw her crutches down on the ground.

"I'm not giving up on you! You can protest all you want, but I will  _not_ give up on you. I know you can do this. I  _know_ you can."

"I d-don't w-want t-t-to."

"Oh, Emma," the nurse sighed heavily, kneeling down in front of Emma's chair and putting her hand's on the woman's knees. (The soldier was too shocked by the physical stimulation to rebel and push her away.) "I know this is hard. I know it is. I've worked with lots of vets who have been in the same shoes you are. You just have to push through this and keep trying to get better. You  _will_ get better."

This fight continued for weeks on end, with Emma only giving the bare minimum amount of effort to continue her treatment. One thing that was certainly improving was Emma's speech, and as the days went on and the treatment grew more and more difficult, her words grew more and more colorful.

"F-Fuck!" Emma screamed, once again performing her signature move of throwing her crutches down on the floor.

"Em, you've got this. Please don't stop now," Regina pleaded with her, kneeling down in front of her as she sat in her wheelchair. "I believe in you."

But the blonde was too captivated by the nurse's all-consuming beauty to respond. It quelled her anger and stifled her rage. Worse, it made her heart race.

"W-Well, d-don't," she finally said, her words coming faster and more confidently, but still jumbled by her stutter.

When the young woman took her hands and gently squeezed them, Emma roughly pushed her hands away.

"S-Stop it!" Emma cried.

"I care about you," the brunette repeated. "I'm gonna help you get through this, no matter what it takes."

"W-Why do you c-care?"

"I care about… about all my… patients…"

Emma turned her face away, disgusted by her own desire to hear that she was unique and wanted. It was impossible to shake, but it was also nearly impossible to bear. She couldn't help the way she looked at the woman, her eyes full of painful desire. It was embarrassing.  _Pathetic_ , Emma told herself.  _Ridiculous. You're a goddam cripple. What would an angel want with a pitiful wretch like you?_ But somehow, every day, light radiated from the caring nurse, and she continued to exude unending confidence in Emma's recovery. This only made the feelings worse as the blonde tried to fight and subdue them. It made her want to give up, just to push the young woman away for good to end the emotional and physical torture of their encounters.

One day, without really meaning to, though, she made a breakthrough.

"Emma, you did it!" the nurse cried happily, loudly clapping her hands together in excitement. "That was ten whole yards on your own without tripping or using the railing!"

"I…" Emma tried, but no other words came out as she finally allowed herself to lean against the railing, then waited for the nurse to help her back to her chair.

When she saw that Emma was making no other moves, Regina called out, "Walk back, Emma. You can do it!"

Wanting to reject the request, but unable to placate her desire to please her doting nurse, Emma made the walk back, only falling at the very end, crying out in frustration as both her own knee and her prosthetic one gave out from under her. Regina caught her just in time, with her arms under Emma's, their bodies close enough to feel the breath on each other's cheeks.

"I… That was…" Regina tried, but fell deeply into Emma's green eyes, which were shining brightly for the first time since they'd met.

Normally, the look in Emma's eyes was dark and forlorn. Frustrated. Sometimes even hateful. But now, held tightly in the beautiful nurse's arms, her eyes were ablaze with something other than anger.

"Th-Thank you," the blonde managed, her face turning red, half from the effort of remaining upright without her braces, and half from embarrassment caused by her proximity to the gorgeous woman who was holding her so protectively.

"I'm so proud of you," Regina breathed, unable to break her eyes away from Emma's enchanting gaze.

"Y-You're…"

"Hmm?" Regina asked, of course, assuming that the woman's hesitation was due to a loss of words or the ability to speak them. "Go ahead, Emma."

However, for once, Emma was not hesitating due to a loss of words. She was held back by her own nerves.

Before she could back out or retract what she'd been about to say, she managed to blurt you, "Y-You're b-beautiful."

Instantly, the nurse turned bright red as she started to pull away, gently helping the woman into her chair.

"Oh, Emma," she finally said. "Please, don't say that. I'm-"

"It's t-true."

"Emma, I'm not… I'm not beautiful. I'm plain and… nothing special."

"Y-You're sp-pecial to me."

The nurse's mouth fell open as she stared at her patient.

"P-Please d-don't flirt with me…" Regina nearly begged, taking her turn to stutter her words.

"I'm sorry. I'm s-sure you have a lovely b-boyfriend who t-takes good c-care of you," Emma muttered, almost under her breath, sounding dejected and miserable.

"No, actually," Regina laughed weakly, finally beginning to sense Emma's emotional pain. "It's been years since I had a boyfriend. Daniel was killed on his first tour of Afghanistan."

"S-Shit… I'm s-sorry."

"It's alright. Of course, it's why I do this now. I want to help veterans who've served our country bravely, like you. I want to help as many people heal as I can."

"Like me?"

"Of course. I'm very invested in your recovery, Emma."

"Just another p-patient, huh?"

"Not exactly…"

"What?"

"You're special to me, Emma. I don't know how else to tell you."

"W-What does that mean?"

"It means… It means, if things were different…" Emma's eyes went wide, anticipating what she knew the woman wouldn't say, until Regina continued, "I'm being stupid and inappropriate. I apologize. Please, forgive me. Forget I said anything. I-"

"You m-mean if I wasn't a disgusting, c-crippled freak with a revolting p-prosthetic leg?"

"Emma!" Regina gasped. "It has absolutely  _nothing_ to do with that! Your injuries don't change  _anything!_ "

"W-What then?"

"I'm your nurse! It would be grossly inappropriate for me to-"

"If I g-get better… I go home, r-right?"

"Well, yes… Of course… Why are you asking?"

"B-Because then you wouldn't b-be my nurse."

"Emma…"

"Isn't that t-true?"

"I…"

"Isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Then h-help me get better, so things can be d-different, like you s-said."

"Emma, I couldn't… You're a patient…"

"B-But I won't be soon."

"Emma, we can't."

"It's because I'm a f-freak, isn't it?"

"You're not a freak! You were severely injured and suffered physical and neurological damage. All that means is that we need to get you better. I care about that more than anything."

"And m-my leg?"

"What about it?"

"D-Doesn't it d-disgust you?"

"Of course not."

"Bring me to my room," Emma said abruptly. "I'm tired, and it hurts."

Eyes wide and surprised, Regina did as she was told, pushing the wheelchair back to the woman's room. When the nurse knelt in front of her, though, Emma reached out and grabbed her wrists for the first time, pulling the woman forward until their lips were painfully close.

"K-Kiss me, then," the blonde pleaded. "If I r-really don't disgust you."

"Emma, I can't!" the woman cried, trying to pull away, but Emma used what little strength she still had to hold the woman still.

"Please. I j-just want to feel like I'm not a f-freak…"

"You want me to kiss you just so you can feel normal?!"

"N-No! I want to f-feel like  _you_ d-don't think I'm a freak!"

"I don't, but I  _can't,_ Emma!"

"Then k-kiss me." When the woman hesitated, Emma added, "Kiss me or g-get out and get me another n-nurse."

"What, you don't want to be my patient unless I kiss you?"

"No. I just c-can't stand to feel this way anymore and n-not have it be… be…" Emma cursed herself for forgetting the word, then finally found it and said, "r-reciprocated."

Greatly surprised by Emma's choice of words, Regina stared at her with pride and relief in her eyes.

"See?" she finally breathed. "You're getting better. Three months ago you didn't even remember that word."

"You make me r-remember."

"Oh, Emma…"

"You do. When I'm with you… I… I  _remember_. And n-not just the accident and all the b-bad things."

"I'm so proud of you."

"Kiss me, R-Regina."

Unable to resist the woman's earnest request, the nurse leaned in, breaking every rule she'd bought into for years, and pressed their lips together in a soft, chaste kiss.

"You're almost ready to go home," Regina said, after breaking away slowly.

"Then h-help me g-get better, send me home, and b-be with me…."

"Em…"

"You know, I've n-never let anyone c-call me Em before."

"Oh! I'm sorry… I didn't realize… I didn't know it bothered you…"

"It d-doesn't, coming from you. You're s-special."

A blush rose to the nurse's cheeks as her gaze drifted away, towards the floor, bringing a rare smile to Emma's face. She didn't hesitate before reaching out with a trembling hand to lift the young woman's chin until their eyes met again.

"S-Say something," Emma pleaded, wanting to hear, in that very moment, every private thought she'd ever had.

Her desire to get to know her nurse was strong and pervasive in her thoughts throughout her days. When her mind drifted, it drifted to Regina. The woman's warm, brown eyes… her soft, dark hair… her full, red lips. Everything Emma had imagined about their first kiss had been true.

When the beautiful nurse finally did speak, though, all she could manage was Emma's name.

The blonde sighed and leaned back in the wheelchair, turning her attention to the trees just outside the window, and the birds calling to each other from their branches. They, like Regina's patient, were looking for someone to heal their loneliness. But, for Emma, it wasn't just about that. It was something deeper with Regina. Something more. Something that she couldn't explain, but craved anyway.

"S-Something else," the blonde finally requested. "Even th-though I like the way you say my name."

"I don't know what to say. I… This is wrong. I can't do this. You're my patient, for God's sake! It's taking advantage of you. It's practically transference."

"That applies to a psychologist and  _their_ p-patient, not to a n-nurse and theirs. Th-There are no rules about us, except for the ones y-you're making yourself."

"I can't, Emma. I'm sorry. I just can't."

"What the f-fuck, R-Regina? You just-"

"I know. And I shouldn't have. I apologize. I truly am sorry," the woman said, begging with the tone of her voice for Emma to understand. "We're going to have to find you a new nurse."

" _W-What?_ "

"I can't. Not after what I just did to you."

"You d-didn't do anything to me! W-We-"

"Emma, please understand. It's just not right. It's taking advantage of you when you're vulnerable and dependent on me!"

"I'm not f-fucking d-dependent on you!"

"You are, though. We both know that. And that's okay. It's just… I can't… I can't be what you think you want me to be."

"W-What I  _know_ I want you to be."

"Emma," the nurse sighed heavily, holding her head in her hands. "Please."

"G-Get out," the blonde said slowly. "G-Get out of my r-room."

"Emma, I-"

"Just get the f-fuck out."

So Regina turned her back on her patient and walked away, guilt-ridden and confused.

Emma found out soon, from the nurse who replaced her – a middle-aged woman with cold blue eyes – that not only had Regina given up on being her nurse, she'd given up on working at that particular rehabilitation center altogether and taken a job just over an hour away. This seemed somewhat easier than having to see the woman around the facility, or around the neighborhood, if she ever managed to get out of inpatient care.

Now she wasn't motivated to get better to be with Regina. She was motivated to get better to get away from the unfeeling nurse who had replaced her, and the dependent lifestyle she was living. She worked hard over the next few weeks, but the going was slow, and she made little more progress. It wasn't until another three months or so had passed that she finally got the okay to transition to independent living, while still coming in for outpatient treatment and physical therapy three times a week.

As soon as she opened the door to her new apartment – which was certainly a struggle while using her braces – she immediately fell into a memory of the one woman she no longer wanted to think about.

"If you need anything," Regina had said, towards the beginning of their working relationship, "I'm gonna leave my cell phone number right on this card on your nightstand, okay?"

A few other nurses from the facility had helped her move her things back into her apartment before her arrival, and she was instantly stung by the pang of fear that the card may not have been transported with the rest of her things. As much as she hated to think about Regina, the thought of losing her only method of contacting the compassionate woman terrified her.

She shuffled clumsily into her bedroom to find a small box placed on her bed. Throwing her crutches to the side and leaning up against the frame of the bed for support, she began to dig through it, searching for her one tie to the woman she'd fallen so hard for, even though it hurt to think about.  _It'll just be a comfort_ , she reasoned with herself.  _I'm not really going to call her. It's just… just in case._  Luckily for her frazzled nerves, she found the card at the very bottom of the box. The elegant handwriting stared up at her, and the numbers in red ink seemed to lift from the page, while the woman's name, which she had written out at the top, suddenly became bold in her eyes.

"No," she spat. "I'm not calling her."

She made it three whole days without dialing the number, but on the third day, after her first therapy session as an outpatient, she walked over to the nightstand beside her bed where the card was placed carefully next to a candle and stared down at it.

"Don't, Emma," she warned herself. "She'll probably just hang up anyway."

But of course, she caved in to the desire a few hours later as her shaking hands dialed the number.

The nurse answered the call on the second ring, saying, "Regina Mills speaking."

"Hi… Regina… Um… It's… It's Emma."

"Emma," the brunette breathed into the receiver. "Wow."

"Look, I'm sorry. I just… I had your n-number, and I… I just wanted to tell you that I'm… I'm out. Going in for outpatient three times a week, but living on my own."

"Em, that's wonderful!"

 _Oh, God,_  Emma groaned silently.  _Why'd she have to call me 'Em?'_

"Th-Thanks."

"You sound  _great!_ "

"Yeah. I'm… I'm doing a lot better. It's… It's easier to find and make the words now. When I'm not… you know… nervous."

"Well, you do sound nervous, but your voice is strong. How are you walking?"

"I… I still stumble and have trouble with it, but it's really getting better. Th-They actually said I can probably get rid of the braces after a while, once my muscles fully retrain themselves."

"Emma, that's wonderful! I'm so happy to hear you're doing well."

"I'm… I'm happy to hear your voice again…" There was silence on the other end of the line as Emma waited for a response that didn't come, until finally, she said, "How are you? How's… How's your new job?"

"It's about an hour away at a different rehab facility. The patients are… difficult. Mostly older veterans. I don't think any of them are really interested in getting better or improving their situations. They're bitter and combative, which I can't blame them for. It's just hard to want to help them so badly when they don't want to be helped. It's in a very pretty rural area, though. I like taking my patients outside to see the sun. I think it does them well, you know?"

"Yeah…" Emma said slowly, thinking about all the times the nurse had pushed her wheelchair outside for her to enjoy the grounds.

Of course, Emma's rehabilitation center had been in the city, and there had only been limited foliage for her to see. She longed to be around more green things, more trees, and fewer people. Less bustle and rush. Less rudeness. Fewer entitled rich people. More humble folks with better attitudes. Especially at her newly slowed pace, she wished that she could be around people who were in less of a hurry and wouldn't grow irritated with her lack of haste.

Finally, Regina spoke, her voice softer and a little bit lower than it had been, saying, "Emma… It's good to hear you too."

"At least I don't sound like a complete r-retard anymore."

"Hey!" the brunette snapped. "Don't use that kind of language, alright? You didn't sound like a 'retard,' and that's a horribly offensive word to use anyway. You should know that."

"Sorry," Emma muttered quietly, just loud enough for Regina to hear her.

There was another long pause between them as Emma pictured the disappointment and frustration in the nurse's face caused by her words, feeling guilty for what she'd said and knowing full well why the woman had gotten upset.

Feeling even worse as the moments passed in silence, the blonde finally said, "I really am sorry. It was a s-stupid thing to say. I apologize. I really didn't mean to offend you."

"It did offend me," Regina told her, "but I know you didn't mean for it to, and I forgive you."

"Thank you, Regina. Anyway, did you move away to be closer to your job, or are you still living around here?"

"No, I stayed around here. The commute sucks, because I really don't like to drive, but I guess it's alright."

"Well… You know… I'll be done with outpatient in a few months. You could come back and work at the facility here, if you like it better."

"I did like it better, actually."

"What's so good about this place?"

"You, Emma."

"What?"

"Every day I saw your face was a good day. Even the days you were difficult and combative like some of the people I work with now. In the end, you were working so hard… It made me so proud, and I just loved seeing that smile light up your face again."

"Hey, who said I smiled before?"

"There, um… There were some pictures in your medical files… from before your accident."

"It wasn't a fucking accident, Regina. I got fucking brain damage, permanent spinal damage, and my fucking leg blown off. I was nearly paralyzed. Does that sound like a goddam accident to you?"

"Shit, Emma. I'm sorry… I… I didn't mean it like that. I know it wasn't an accident. I just… The word just… I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry…"

"Yeah, whatever. Look, I should go. I just wanted to tell you that I'm out. If it's alright with you, I'll call you when I'm done with outpatient so you can come back and not worry about seeing me."

"Emma…"

"What?"

"I do want to see you."

"What?"

"I want to see you."

"Why?"

"Because I miss you, Emma. I miss your smile… your lips…"

Emma went gravely silent, soaking in the words she'd been longing to hear. It was more than she ever could have hoped for.

"I…" she finally tried, but got stuck before the sentence could finish.

"It's okay if you don't want to see me."

"N-No, it's n-not that! I… I just thought you…"

"I know. I thought I did too, but I was just scared. I was scared to break that trust with you. I was scared to fall in love with a patient. But more importantly, I was scared to fall in love at all. That's why I really left. I felt guilty for what I'd done, and I was terrified of my feelings for you."

"I…"

"I'm so sorry. I fucked up so badly. I should've come to see you."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. Really. I'm a complete idiot. I just… I don't know. I was terrified."

"There're no rules about us."

"I know. It just feels wrong."

"You're not taking advantage of me."

"You were vulnerable."

"I know, but that doesn't change how I feel about you, or w-why I feel that way. I didn't f-fall for you because you were my nurse. I fell for you because you're b-beautiful, and smart, and your smile lights up the room. Because you care about me. Because I feel like I can accomplish things when I'm with you. I don't feel like a w-waste of space when you're with me."

"You're definitely not a waste of space, Emma. You're a wonderful woman."

"I don't know. Now that you're not here, I feel shit again. It's like you v-validated everything about me. You made me feel like I could  _do_ something with my life. But now you're not here, and it feels different. I know I'm never going to work again. But I don't want to be on disability for the rest of my life. I don't want to be d-dependent on other people, you know?"

"Soon, you won't be. You might not be in a condition to work again, but you'll certainly be able to take care of yourself."

"What makes you so sure that I'll recover all the way?"

"Because I saw that fire in you, and I know you can do it."

Emma sighed and rubbed her temple with one hand while clutching her cell phone tightly in the other.

"I don't know. The only fire I've ever actually  _felt_ was for you."

"W-Was?" Regina asked cautiously, her face warm with embarrassment at her own question.

"Is. Currently. It's just hard when you're… you know… I mean… I haven't seen you in months."

"Do you want to change that?"

"If you do, then of course. You're all I can th-think about, Regina."

"You mean that?"

"I see your beautiful face every time I close my eyes."

"I'm not beautiful."

"You're right. You're not. You're  _gorgeous_."

This earned a nervous laugh from the brunette, who then countered, "You're ridiculous. And a little bit crazy."

"I have a feeling you like the crazy ones."

"Well, it certainly puts a little spice in my life. You were a difficult one to help, you know. Battled me right up to the last few weeks of our time together."

"Yeah, I know… I'm s-sorry. I just wasn't comfortable with who I was. I wasn't confident in my own ability to get better."

"How'd things go with the nurse who replaced me?"

"Ugh! She was a fucking grumpy witch."

Again, Emma earned a laugh from Regina, who said, "I'm sorry to hear that, sweetie. Most nurses at V.A. hospitals are. Even some of the young girls are pretty bitchy."

"I'm just sorry you couldn't have been there to see my discharge. I almost cried. It's  _so_  good to be sleeping in my own bed."

"I'm sorry I didn't see it too. I don't like pulling overnights there and having to sleep in those beds. The conditions really are pretty crap. I try to make the best of it, though…"

After a long pause, the blonde sighed, "It's so good to hear your voice again."

"It's good to hear you too, Emma. I… I wish I could be there to see you walking better too."

"Then come see me after work. I'm just hanging out here for the rest of the night."

"I'm out already, actually. I just pulled into my driveway, and I'm still sitting in the car."

"What do you drive?"

"A 2015 Mercedes."

"Oooh! Nice car!"

"Thanks. My parents bought it for me, which is totally pathetic. Anyway, how's your apartment? Did they help you get everything set up?"

"Not really," Emma chuckled. "They just kind of left me and the boxes alone to make friends."

"What the hell! I'll be over to help you get unpacked and organized tonight, as soon as you want me to be there."

"I'm at 14 Chatham St. right near d-downtown, but you  _really_ don't have to help me unpack. I've got it under-"

"No. I want to. It'll go faster with two people, and if there's stuff you don't want me to see, you can just tell me where-"

"There's nothing I'd hide from you. It's not like I have a porn stash. Though, I p-probably should now."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it's not like I'm ever going to have sex again," Emma answered, forcing another nervous laugh.

"Why not?"

"Are you serious? Who's going to want to f-fuck a woman recovering from brain and spinal damage with her leg amputated from the thigh down? It's disgusting."

"Emma! It's not disgusting! There's nothing wrong with you! I know you're going through a hard time right now and that you're struggling, but that doesn't mean that no one would be sexually attracted to you."

"Oh, yeah? Who's going to be sexually attracted to s-someone like me, other than someone with a gross fetish for amputated limbs?"

"Um… I…"

"You what?"

"I am."

"W-What?"

"I'm sexually attracted to you."

"I… What?"

"I think you heard me."

There was another long pause in the conversation before Emma finally said, "Come over."

"I'll be there in thirty minutes. I'm bringing food. What do you want?"

"I really don't want you to buy me food… but I'm  _totally_ graving a steak and cheese sub."

"Done. See you in thirty."


	2. Chapter 2

While she waited, Emma sat nervously on her couch, staring at the door to her apartment as she wiggled her foot anxiously. When she finally heard the knock, she grabbed her braces and moved as quickly as she could to open the door. Seeing the beautiful brunette standing before her made her stomach drop and her heart skip three beats.

"Regina," she breathed. "You look amazing."

"You look pretty damn good yourself," Regina replied, reaching out to tuck some of Emma's blonde hair behind her ear. Then, she said, "Wow. Your hair is really soft."

Blushing, the other woman replied, "Th-Thank you. Yours looks pretty soft too…"

"I don't know. I guess it's okay. Sit down, and I'll let you see for yourself, and then you can tell me what you think while we eat," the brunette suggested.

"Regina, I…"

"It's okay. I'm sorry. That was too forward. I shouldn't-"

But Emma turned away from her and limped to the couch, then sat down slowly. When she finally looked back up at Regina, the woman was frozen in place.

"Put the food on the coffee table and come here," the blonde beckoned her.

Regina obeyed, then sat next to the woman on the couch. It took Emma a few moments to brave reaching out and touching the nurse's cheek with a shaking hand.

"It's okay," the brunette told her, reaching up and covering the woman's hand with her own. "Run your fingers through my hair."

"But, I…"

"You're scared."

"Of c-course I'm scared!"

"Hey. Relax. It's alright. If you don't want to-"

But Emma did move her hand and slip her fingers through Regina's long, dark hair, causing the brunette to close her eyes and expel a breathy sigh.

"It is soft," the blonde told her quietly, not moving her hand away. "It feels good."

"Good."

Emma slid her fingers through the woman's hair a few times, then lowered her hands to cup Regina's face as she finally mustered the bravery to look into her eyes.

"Emma…" the nurse started, then trailed off.

"I'm sorry," the blonde said quickly, pulling away abruptly and dropping her still shaking hands to her sides.

"No… Emma, don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't stop touching me."

So the woman's former patient reached up once again and repeated her actions as Regina's eyes fell closed again. The moment seemed to last forever, and Emma felt the need to fall into it, to be engrossed by it, to drown in it, and to never escape its iron grip. When Regina's eyes opened again, slowly, and Emma looked into them, they both felt their stomachs flutter.

"Emma…" Regina breathed again, savoring the taste of the woman's name on her lips and tongue.

"Yeah?"

"Em…" she tried again, but instantly felt the pang of nervousness when the name had fallen from her mouth. At last, she managed to meet the woman's gaze and asked, "Can I please kiss you?"

The blonde's breath caught in her lungs, and before she could let it out, she decided to fight the urge to run and lean in even further. When their lips slid together – the movements slow and unrushed – their hearts raced but beat in time.

"Oh, Emma," Regina sighed against the woman's lips.

"W-What?"

"You are  _so_ beautiful. And your lips are sosoft..."

"As are you, and as are yours, darling," Emma told her. "I never want to stop feeling this."

"Neither do I," the brunette replied, her hands moving to the woman's sides. Suddenly realizing how intimate the gesture was, she asked, "Is this okay?"

When Emma nodded, she slid her hands up and down a few times, enticed by the new sensation of Emma's toned muscles beneath her touch. Even though her body had grown much weaker and she had far less control over it, Emma was still incredibly fit. The muscles she'd earned through training and continued to earn through war still supported her body and only grew stronger with every day that passed and with every physical therapy session she pushed through. The feeling of the ripples under Regina's fingers was intoxicating.

The brunette sighed again, whispering, "Em…"

"Regina."

"I'm so sorry. For everything. For abandoning you. For-"

"No, don't," Emma pleaded. "Please don't. I…"

But Regina ignored her, moving her hands away and saying, "I'm such a horrible person. How could I just leave you alone like that?"

"Gina, it's alright. I… I was okay. I mean, it sucked, but I was okay."

"I'm glad you got through it, but it was still wrong to leave you like that. I was just  _so_ scared."

"Are you still?"

"Yes, of course. It's you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I care what you think about me, I already feel guilty for what I've done, and I don't want to mess this up again."

"Don't feel guilty. You won't mess this up. J-Just… Just don't leave me again…"

"I don't plan on it," the beautiful brunette told her. "You mean too much to me."

"R-Really?" the blonde stuttered.

"Yes, Emma! I've always been invested in you and your recovery."

"That's not the same thing as meaning something to you."

"You  _do_ mean something to me... You mean a  _lot_  to me. I care about you, and I…"

"You what?"

"I don't  _just_  want to see you better yourself and live a happier life. I want… I want to be a  _part_  of that life."

"You already are. You have been for a long, long time. You've always been special to me. You kept me going when I wanted to give up."

"What is it about me that made you push so hard?"

"Your smile. Your confidence. Your faith in me."

"I was only confident in you," Regina told her. "I've never been confident in myself."

"You should be confident in yourself. You're the reason I got better. If it hadn't been for you, I would've rolled over like a sick dog and never gotten back up again."

"Oh, come on, Emma," the brunette sighed. "That's not true. You worked hard of your own volition. I had nothing to-"

"You had everything to do with it. You kept me going."

"Well, then why did you keep working so hard after I left?"

"I guess I wanted you to hear a good report if you ever decided to check up on me. I also… I w-wanted to get better in case… in case you changed your mind."

"And I have."

"I'm glad you have. I would've waited forever for you."

"Oh, Emma…"

"Kiss me again," the blonde suggested, her voice soft and slow.

Of course, Regina did this willingly, leaning in and pressing their lips together over and over, as if she couldn't break free.

To Emma's horror and embarrassment, the moment was interrupted by the sound of her stomach growling from hunger, and as she blushed and looked away, Regina let out a light, soft laugh.

"S-Sorry," the soldier stammered.

"No, it's fine!" Regina said brightly. "You should eat something."

"I… I'm fine. I don't…"

"I'm not gonna leave. We have as much time together as you want. Let's eat something."

With a weak nod, Emma agreed, and Regina stood quickly, grabbing her container of grilled chicken salad and Emma's steak and cheese sub. When she handed it to the blonde, the woman took it carefully and unwrapped it, keeping the large wrapper on her lap as she looked up at the brunette, who was sitting down beside her.

"Salad, huh?" Emma laughed. "I probably should've gone with that too, but I've got a real tooth for junk food."

"Is that so?"

"Mhmm. It's pretty bad. I used to work out all the time, though, so it was never an issue before. N-Now, with me having lost so much muscle mass…"

"You are still absolutely  _ripped_."

"I'm gaining weight."

"You're gaining it in muscle!"

"No, I'm not. It's-"

"Stop it, Em. You're gaining muscle. I… I can feel it…"

"W-What?"

Regina sat the closed container beside her on the couch and reached out once more, pressing her hands against Emma's abdomen.

"Your muscles have gotten bigger since I saw you last. They're… tighter…"

"I…"

"It feels good," the brunette confessed, rubbing her thumbs over the fabric of the woman's tight-fitting shirt.

"It doesn't feel good to me," Emma sighed. "I feel so fucking  _weak_."

"Just because you're not quite as strong as you were when you were on active duty doesn't mean that you're weak, Emma. You're basically a rock. You're just having trouble  _controlling_ your muscles is all. It's not that they're not there. They're just… a little… defiant, right now."

"Yeah, well…"

"Shh," Regina whispered, pressing her finger to the woman's lips. "Eat."

With a nod, Emma took her first bite of the sub, carefully, and with as much grace as she could manage, trying not to spill its contents down her front. Luckily, this didn't happen, and the next few bites were just as successful. Regina, of course, ate just as carefully, and spilled nothing. Once they were done eating, Emma leaned back against the couch and sighed happily, shutting her eyes.

"Damn, that hit the spot," she announced. "But now I'm in a food coma."

"Tired?"

"Yeah. It's been a long day."

"Why don't you nap while I unpack?"

"What?" Emma asked, her eyes snapping open. "No way! I didn't want you to come over so that you could work for me!"

"Helping someone I care about isn't work. I'm happy to be here to lend a hand, and you're obviously exhausted, so why don't you just-"

"F-Fine. I'll nap."

"Really?"

"If you nap with me."

"What? But you… There's so much to do, and-"

"C'mon. A nap never hurt anyone, and I'm unwilling to take one without you."

"Emma…"

"Are you so s-scared to be close to me?"

"No! If that was true, I wouldn't have kissed you. I wouldn't-"

"Then what are you afraid of?"

"I just feel bad. I want to help you, and I'll feel useless if I just lay there and sleep."

"Just for a little while. Twenty, thirty minutes. I just want…"

"Alright. Let's go," Regina finally agreed with a smile, holding out her hand to help the woman off the couch.

Emma took it hesitantly, then allowed the brunette to pull her to her feet. When Regina took a slow step forward, the soldier hesitated, looking around the room.

"Wait," she said. "My braces."

"You don't need them. I'll carry you."

"What the fuck? Are you joking? F-Fuck that!"

"Bridal style," the nurse replied slowly, looking nervously into the blonde's eyes. "I've always wanted to carry a girl to bed bridal style…"

"I… Um…" Emma blurted dumbly, completely shocked by this confession. "I guess… I guess that's okay then…"

Bursting into a smile, Regina – who was surprisingly strong for someone so petite – lifted the even stronger woman into her arms and carried her into the bedroom, laid her down on the bed, then crawled next to her and lay on her side. Surprised by the woman's strength, Emma's eyes went wide. It took her a moment to recover from the shock, but when she did, she found herself once again captivated by the nurse's unending beauty and grace.

"Gina," Emma whispered, her heart stopping as she stared into the woman's deep brown eyes.

"Kiss me."

"I thought you wanted to sleep," the blonde giggled. "That's not sl-"

But Regina cut her off with a slow, heated kiss that Emma was receptive to. Their lips stayed locked for some time, until Regina pressed her hand against the woman's abs again, rubbing her thumb over the ripples beneath her shirt.

"I… I like that," Emma confessed between kisses.

"Yeah?" Regina asked with a smirk, her voice suddenly breathy and seductive.

"It feels good."

But the soldier pressed her own hand against the top of Regina's, holding it still, then let her head fall to the pillow and shut her eyes.

"Em… Will you… Will you hold me?"

Without opening her eyes, Emma nodded, wrapping her muscular arm around the woman's back and pulling her closer until she was pressed against her side. Regina's head fell to the blonde's shoulder as her own eyes fluttered shut.

"Just f-forty minutes," Emma mumbled, absently rubbing the woman's back.

"You said thirty."

"Forty-five."

"One hour. That's my final offer."

"Mhmm. Just one…"

Five minutes later, Regina was breathing deeply, and Emma was snoring softly. An hour and a half after that, the brunette's eyes opened slowly to find complete darkness.

"Emma," she muttered, reaching over and flicking on the light on the bedside table. "Wake up."

"Nuh-uh."

"Babe, come on. It's late. We slept too long. I've gotta help you-"

"Nuh-uh," the blonde repeated softly, using all of her strength and control to pull the nurse back down until she was once again pressed against her side.

Regina's arm draped over the soldier's solid torso, but when Emma didn't move, her hand wandered until it was slowly slipping beneath her shirt. The blonde sucked in a sharp breath when she felt the coolness of the nurse's fingers against her warm skin.

"I love how soft your skin is," the brunette sighed. "How hard your muscles are…"

"I love how you feel pressed into my side, with your breath on my neck."

"I love how warm you are."

"I love the way you cling to me when you sleep."

"What?"

"You cling. And you whimper a little. But you don't sound…distressed. It's kind of… contented. Like a puppy."

"Excuse me? Did you just call me a puppy?"

"I said the way you whimper when you sleep is  _like_ a puppy," Emma teased, sticking her tongue out. With a scowl, Regina rolled away and crossed her arms, but the soldier quickly pulled her back in and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, whispering, "I like it. It's cute."

"It's not cute! It's-"

"It's adorable."

Sighing heavily, the nurse protested, "Well, you're cute when you sleep too."

"Oh, hush up. I am not."

"We should unpack."

"Ughhh. I don't want to."

"I know, hun, but you'll feel better once your stuff is all in its place and you can just relax. Let's just get it out of the way. You just sit and I'll bring stuff in and you tell me where it goes, yeah?"

"No way! I want to help!"

"Don't be stubborn, okay? Just let me help you and make this efficient."

"Yeah, alright. Fine. The first box is on the table. It's got shirts, pants, and shorts in it. They can just get put in the middle and bottom drawers of my dresser."

"Sounds good!" Regina exclaimed cheerfully, jumping out of the bed and nearly running to the dining room.

She returned with the large box quickly and unpacked it while Emma watched.

"Pants and shorts in the bottom, yeah?" the nurse confirmed, flashing Emma a bright smile before placing the items in their designated location.

This system went on for another two hours or so, until all the boxes were unpacked and left broken down by the door to be taken out for recycling. Everything now had a home in the small apartment, and the place looked a lot warmer than it had when Regina had arrived.

"It looks great in here," Emma told the woman with a grateful smile. "Thank you so much for helping me. I honestly don't think I could've done this by myself. It would have taken forever."

"Of course! Anything for you, darling." This brought a blush to Emma's cheeks, and she became too embarrassed to say anything else, so Regina continued with, "So, um… I should probably get going."

"I, uh…"

"It was absolutely wonderful to see you, Emma. I missed you so much…"

"D-Don't… Don't leave…" the blonde managed, voice shaking.

"What?"

"I mean… You could stay the night… if you wanted…"

"Actually, I…"

"It's okay. I understand. I just… I wanted to offer, just in case…"

"Do you really want me to stay?"

"Of course I do. After that nap, I never want to sleep without you…"

"Oh, Emma," the brunette sighed, walking over to her former patient and wrapping her arms around the woman and hugging her tightly. "I'll stay the night."

"Great!" Emma exclaimed happily. "That means you have a very important mission to accomplish."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?"

"You get to make sure I don't sleep in tomorrow. I have a tendency to do that, and I don't want to be late for physical therapy."

"I might be able to handle that."

"Good. So, what do you say? You just did a  _lot_ of work. Are you ready to crash?"

"Mhmm. It's too bad I forgot my teddy bear."

Emma smiled at this and replied, "I still have my baby blanket. It's got my name on it."

She pulled it from beneath her pillow and held it out to the woman, who took it and examined it closely. She smiled too when she saw Emma's name embroidered on it.

"That's really cute, Em. I love it."

"It's all I've got left of my parents."

"I'm sorry…"

"Nah. Don't be. I've gotten on okay so far, minus having my leg blown off."

"Em… I wish you wouldn't say it like that. It doesn't change who you are. It doesn't change anything about you, except the struggle you now have to face every day."

"That struggle  _has_ changed me, Regina. I'm not who I was. I'm angry now. I'm bitter. I never thought I'd want to leave active duty. I was willing to give anything for this country. Anything. But honestly? I wish I'd died out there. Living like this is-"

"Emma!" Regina cried, swiftly taking the woman's hands and squeezing them. "Please don't say that. You were lucky to survive, and I am  _so_ glad that you did. I don't know what my life would be without you. I can't imagine it, now that I've met you."

Surprised at this response, Emma went quiet, but looked away, partly ashamed of her own confession.

Finally, she said, "The only thing about my life that makes all the days of pain worth it is you. When you left… I thought… I didn't want… I didn't want to do this anymore. I had no faith in myself. The only thing that kept me from p-putting my .45 to my head was the possibility of you changing your mind, even though I thought it was just a fantasy. I didn't think you actually would. I also never thought I'd have the courage to actually c-call you. I just couldn't stop myself."

"I'm glad you did, Emma. Honestly, I was dying to hear from you. I was just too scared to call."

"I don't know why you'd ever be s-scared of me. It's not like I'm some grumpy bitch who would snap at you at the drop of a hat," the blonde joked, referencing the way she'd treated the woman while she'd been her nurse.

"You were suffering. You're still suffering. I don't blame you for the way you responded to that."

"Don't make excuses for my behavior. All you ever wanted was to help me get better, and I t-treated you like complete and total shit for the first half of our time together."

"Emma…"

"What?"

"I never blamed you for that. Never." When the blonde said nothing in response, Regina sat down beside her on the bed and took her hand, adding, "I understand why you acted the way you did. I can imagine how hard it must be to rely on other people just to get through the day."

"Regina Mills, you are the m-most empathetic person I know."

"No. I just-"

"No, really. You understand me better than anyone ever has. Even b-before all this happened."

"Really?"

"No one's ever really cared before, either. I mean, half the guys in my unit died in battle, but the ones that survived… n-none of them have ever visited me. They couldn't even be bothered to write a fucking letter."

Biting her lip, the brunette looked into Emma's eyes. How could she express her own feelings without spilling too much? Without making the woman uncomfortable? What could she say?

What came out was, "I hate myself for abandoning you, Emma. I never gave up on you, though. I always knew you'd push through this. I'm just a coward."

"Being s-scared doesn't make you a coward."

"Leaving you does."

"But you came back. You came back to me."

"I know, but-"

"You're here now. That's all that matters."

"No, Emma. I-"

"Shh," the blonde whispered, raising a finger to Regina's lips to silence her. "I don't blame you for leaving. I was scared too. I still am. I have such a hard time believing that anyone could actually want me."

"I do want you, Emma," Regina sighed. "I want you so badly it makes me feel like throwing up. It literally  _hurts_ how badly I want you. Lying in your arms, I just feel… so…  _safe._ "

"I feel safe with you too. It's difficult for me to trust people, but for some reason… I trust you."

This earned a bright smile from Regina, who was greatly uplifted by the words. It made her feel good to know that Emma was skeptical but trusted her anyway. It made her feel like she actually had a chance, which was a feeling she'd never had before. Up until that day, in her mind, there was no way she could ever have a relationship with the beautiful, wounded soldier. No way to mend the internal scars she'd caused by abandoning her to the care of someone else. All she could do now was thank whatever gods there were that Emma had been brave enough to dial her number.

"Gina?" Emma asked, snapping the woman out of her trance.

"Yeah. Sorry. I… I was just thinking."

"What were you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about why you called me. About how lucky I am that you did. About how sorry I am for what I did to you."

"Regina, stop. You've gotta let it go. Like I said, you're here now, and that's what matters. Don't make me keep saying it, okay? Neither of us should live in the past. Let's just… Let's move f-forward from this, okay? Let's… start fresh? A blank slate?"

"Complete blank?"

"If that's what you want."

"Alright," Regina agreed, extending her hand with a smile. "Hello, beautiful. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Regina Mills. I'm a rehabilitation nurse, and I like long walks on the beach."

Emma laughed at this, her mood brightened by the woman's words, and replied, "My name is Emma Swan, and I'm a d-disabled war veteran. I hate the beach, but I love animals. Especially dogs."

"I'm more of a cat person," Regina countered, trying not to laugh.

"Ugh! Cats are  _horrible._ Hellbeasts, the lot of them."

"I'm just kidding," the brunette chuckled. "I  _love_ dogs. I wish I had one. Or two… Or three…"

"I'll be honest with you here. I want an entire flock of corgis."

"OH MY GOD! CORGIS!"

"RIGHT?!"

" _So_ right!"

"What would you name them?"

"I'd name one Smith and one Wesson," Emma said, then paused when the woman didn't laugh. "You know… like the gun manufacturer?"

Finally, Regina got the joke and laughed.

"What about the name Ruger?"

"Like the gun manufacturer?" the blonde teased. When Regina nodded with a smile, she added, "Actually, I love that. Smith, Wesson, and Ruger."

"Oh, so we're having dogs together now?" the nurse teased back.

When Emma blushed, she leaned in and rubbed their noses together, encouraging the woman to smile again as she began to feel slightly less embarrassed.

As Regina pulled away, Emma asked shyly, "So… Do you kiss on the first date?"

"Depends on who I'm going on the date with."

"Um… Me?"

"Hmm… I suppose you're cute enough," Regina joked playfully, rubbing their noses together again.

The soldier didn't make a move, though, so the brunette leaned in a little further, cupped her chin in her hands, and caught her lips. The kiss seemed to go on forever, until at last, Regina put gentle pressure on Emma's shoulders until she was lying on her back with her head on one of the pillows. As soon as the blonde was sill, the nurse positioned herself so that she was straddling Emma's left thigh and connected their lips again. Without really meaning to and purely out of instinct, Emma reached around and pressed her palms into Regina's back, causing the woman to move her body closer.

When she felt the unintentional pressure of the nurse's thigh pressing against the space between her legs, Emma whimpered softly into the kiss. Slightly shocked and certainly surprised by this, Regina broke the kiss and quickly pulled away, looking down at their position.

"I… I'm sorry," she stammered, moving back to remove the pressure she'd accidentally applied.

Of course, Emma had covered her mouth as soon as she'd heard the embarrassing noise escape, and was a deep shade of red as she scrambled to sit up.

"No, I…" she tried, but was unable to finish the sentence.

"I'm sorry."

"D-Don't be sorry. I…"

"I didn't mean… I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay. I was just… It surprised me, and I…"

"I honestly didn't mean to. I was just… caught up in the moment, and didn't even notice until I heard you-"

"Oh, God," Emma groaned. "I'm so embarrassed."

"What? Why?"

"Because! I… It…"

"What, Emma?"

"It felt good, okay? And I haven't felt anything like that in a really long time. Since before I was deployed."

"Did… Did you have a girlfriend?" Regina asked shyly, sitting up fully and looking into Emma's eyes.

"Um… I… Well, not really…"

"What… What does that mean, exactly?"

"It was just a summer thing, really. I mean… I thought it was more, but when I told her I was going to be deployed in the fall, she, uh… she pretty much peaced out. Said she'd write and never did. I got over it pretty quickly. It's been almost three years since I've heard from her."

"Wow."

"Wow, what?"

"She made a big mistake."

"What?"

"Letting you go."

"Oh, I don't know about that."

"Why?"

"Because here I am, with you."

It was Regina's turn to blush as she looked away, but braved taking Emma's hand as she replied, "I'm very lucky."

"Nah," the blonde laughed. "I'm nothing special. You could do a lot better than me. Plenty of soldiers out there with both legs, if that's what you're into."

"I do have a thing for uniforms," the nurse confessed. "But only on you."

"Regina…"

"Don't. Don't say anything negative about yourself, okay? Just… Just let me…"

Instead of finishing her sentence, Regina leaned in and pressed their lips together, lighting a slow-burning fire between them.

After a while, the brunette mumbled, "Lie back down," against the woman's lips.

Emma obliged the request when Regina moved over and lay down with her head on the pillow once more. Regina wasted no time lying down beside her and curling into her side before turning Emma's head and kissing her again.

"We should sleep," the nurse finally muttered. "You've gotta be up early." Emma frowned but offered a sleepy nod, to which Regina added, "I'll bring you, if you want."

"You don't have to do-"

"I want to. Please let me? I'm not working tomorrow. I'll pick you up too, if that's okay, and if you don't have any other plans…"

"I'd… I'd l-love that, actually. Any excuse to see you is one I want to use."

"Oh, Emma," the brunette sighed. "You're too sweet."

"That's a new development," the woman chuckled.

"I doubt that highly. I think you went through a period of pain that you're starting to come out of, but I believe that this is who you've always been."

"I…"

"Am I right? That you've always been sweet, polite, and caring?"

"I mean… I guess so, but I-"

"I thought so. Now, let's get some sleep, yeah?"

Emma nodded and pulled the covers down then struggled her way underneath them.

"Um… Em?" Regina said quietly.

"Huh?"

"Aren't… Aren't you going to… you know… take… off… your… um…"

"You can call it a leg," Emma laughed. "Even though that's not really what it is."

"Your leg," Regina corrected herself with a blush.

"I, um…"

"Emma, it's not like I haven't seen you without it. You don't have to be embarrassed."

"But… it's different now. I wasn't… I wasn't…"

"What?"

"I wasn't in bed with you."

"Emma, I don't  _care._ It doesn't matter to me. It doesn't shock me or make me uncomfortable, and it  _certainly_  doesn't turn me off."

"That implies that you're you're turned on," Emma taunted playfully, finally cracking a smile.

"I might be."

Regina winked and slid off the bed, standing next to where Emma was lying down. Slowly, she pulled the covers down and slid her hands down Emma's thighs, until her left hand reached the brace on the blonde's right leg. With careful tenderness, she began to loosen the straps as the soldier's heart raced and sputtered with anxiety. Like she'd said, it wasn't as though Regina hadn't done this before, but doing it while she was lying in bed was quite another thing. It was far more intimate, and it made Emma far more vulnerable.

"Wait," she started to say, but her former nurse had already removed the device and was leaning it against the nightstand.

"It's okay, baby girl," she cooed softly, brushing some hair out of the woman's face before circling the bed and slipping under the covers on the other side. "Don't be shy. It's just me, alright?"

"But you're-" the blonde started, but was completely stunned and caught off guard by the intimate term of endearment.

"Shh. Just relax, okay? Trust me."

Though she was still blushing, Emma nodded her head and allowed the nurse to curl against her side once more and drape her arm over her torso.

"I really do love how this feels," Regina sighed.

"What?"

"Your abs. Your muscles. Your skin. You…"

"Regina…"

"Emma, hush," the brunette sighed, shutting her eyes and drawing circles over Emma's stomach with her fingertips. "Just let me love you."

After a long pause filled with painful silence, the woman asked, "L-Love?"

"I… Well… Yeah. I mean… It's not like I'm here after all this time just because I think you're cute. It's because I care for you, deeply."

"Yeah, but love is… different…"

"Not really. Love is caring about someone so much that you'd give them anything. That you'd do anything to stop them from hurting. That you'd-"

"Regina."

"What?"

"You're making my heart race."

"I know. I can feel it." After another long, less-painful pause, she added, "Sleep, darling. We can talk in the morning. I'm not going anywhere."

With a heavy sigh and a contented smile, Emma reached over, flicked off the lamp, and shut her eyes. As they slept, Regina's grip on her tightened, and she pressed her body closer throughout the night, leaving her head on the blonde's chest.

For once, Emma didn't feel disabled. She felt strong.


End file.
